Peace Treaty

 The Great Unifier

In the year 2142, after centuries of squabbling and silliness, the nations of the world stood at the brink. Not of war, oh no, that had become old hat. Instead, they faced the even more dreadful prospect of… boredom. After all, what was left to argue about after perfecting teleporting bagels and self-folding laundry?

Then came the "Treaty of Utterly Peaceful and Probably Harmless Surrender," a document so convoluted and nonsensical that it somehow made perfect sense to everyone.

Criteria (as interpreted through delightfully twisted glasses)

1. The Absolutely Mandatory Cease-and-Desist of Shenanigans

The mighty nation of "Fizzytopia," formerly known as Russia, vowed to cease all "hostile conflict," which mainly involved launching glitter bombs at their neighbors, the perpetually confused "Noodleburg" (formerly Ukraine). The treaty demanded they focus instead on interpretive dance and competitive kazoo playing.

2. The Treaty of Utterly Unquestionable and Thoroughly Confusing Details

This section was written by a committee of hyperactive squirrels, and was thus, wonderfully incomprehensible. It outlined in great detail that, "all things must be the way they are, except when they are not, and only on Tuesdays when the moon is blue." Every world leader nodded sagely, pretending to understand.

3. The List of Things That Fizzytopia Definitely Wants (and Probably Doesn't Need)

Fizzytopia, in a move of breathtaking generosity, requested all of Noodleburg's rubber chickens, glow-in-the-dark socks, and the secret recipe for "Bob's Slightly Burnt Toast Surprise." Noodleburg, relieved to be spared from further glitter bombings, happily agreed.

4. The Extended Hand (holding a plate of stale cookies)

Noodleburg offered Fizzytopia not just land, but also their entire collection of slightly chewed bubblegum and their third cousin, Mildred, who was an expert at yodeling. Fizzytopia accepted, mostly to see what Mildred's yodeling was like.

Results

The treaty worked! World peace broke out, mostly because everyone was too busy trying to figure out what the treaty actually said. The former leaders of Fizzytopia, led by Supreme Leader Sparklebottom, and the representatives from Noodleburg, led by Mayor Fluffykins, declared the "Age of Infinite Laughter." The world, finally, was at peace... or at least, incredibly confused and amused.